Panties!

Perhaps I shouldn't be airing out the unmentionables online and with y'll BUT when they are the small ones that you've never worn because you couldn't pull them up your thighs when you first bought them.....why not.  So that was one good start to my day.  I can actually start wearing stuff that has never fitted before.  Does give me the motivation to continue on my quest.  Besides I have smaller ones to get into.

It's been one hellofa emotional week.  I literally had to set myself 4 small goals on Monday and made sure that I addressed the whole 4 of them and then literally and emphatically ticked each one 'em off - the proof is on my calenda pad - each goal got two big ticks.  Accomplished! My mind could rest and I move onto something else.  Sometimes that is what I have to do - especially after a mental splat (picture one of them paint splats, because that is how I felt - in a midnight blue)  Set small goals, accomplish them, tick them off, move on.

Wednesdays - always have been and hopefully always will continue to be a great day for me.  In the past I used to start a diet on a Wednesday, it's mid week, closer to the weekend and just a good day.  It was another good day today.  Got quite a bit done in the office - check.  Got back money from SARS - check cheque ka-ching!!  Paid out half the money from SARS into credit card - check. Booked movie tickets to watch Harry Potter - Deathly Hallows Part 2 - check. Healthy bank balance - check.  PLUS I had my monthly pedicure. 

Pedicures are pure heaven for me. I love having my feet exfoliated, massaged and then toenail polish applied.  It is my little indulgence - rather that than hit the chocolate gnache again.  I am over the episode and can now look back to last Thursday and have a little chuckle - oh the craziness that is me.  Even without analysing this or that, my journey is entertaining.  I'm amazed at little things that I've forgotten that will surface and prick me, how small demons arise to be huge towering giants that scare the bejesus out of me, the highs that make me feel I'm walking on air, the compliments, the self awareness, the lows.  Life - is amazing.

My uncle always says it's the small little things that make life so beautiful.  He is so right!  The free things:  looking at delicate flowers, hugging an imovable tree, listening to a giggling brook, warming yourself in the winter sun, laughing with mates, philosophysing over a hubbly, singing out of tune in the shower.  All those cost nothing or very very little and us humans at the heart of it all are happy.  My uncle had one decent day and since then has gone downhill. He also had a "friend" steal from him, the chap that was helping him out 3 days a week, stole from my helpless uncle! #*@!*#@!  Disgusting!  Steal from my uncle, you're stealing from me and I'll deal with him when I come across him again.

My uncle is honest with me  - he can't take this pain much longer, he doesn't want to endure greater pain.  I urge him to hold on, to not do anything stupid until my cousins come from the UK to visit him.  I know he wants to see them - perhaps for the last time. It gives him something to fight for.  The champion in him is fighting with every ounce of little strength he has.  He tells me he feels the end is close.  At that time it's very difficult to maintain my composure, that is when I just want to put my head down and cry.  I'll ask how he feels on the inside or tell him that after he eats he'll feel better.

For now we continue on the path of healthy eating.  My mind is right, my resolve is there and I walk the talk.

Health is wealth!