Goosebumps.

On my way home from work yesturday, I gave a motivational speech out loud to an imaginary crowd of people that needed to lose weight.  I spoke about my struggles, the ups and downs and the fact that all of us in the room could relate.  I had been there.  Okay, I know that sounds a little looney but we've already established I'm not all that sane after all, so speaking to an imaginary crowd and picturing myself at my goal is so very normal for me.

The thing is - my speech gave me goosebumps, becuase as I was speaking I almost felt like it would be my future 'now', like I would one day be standing up and saying those words.  I really do want to help people.  I really want to motivate and inspire people to lose weight.

I've lost 37 kgs, suddenly I don't feel so overwhelmed, I mean I do still have a lot to go....but I feel like my goals are within reach and I will get there and that it's not too far off.  That thought gave me goosebumps on goosebumps and I actually whoooped out loud and laughed.  I know I'm going to get there, I believe in myself like I have never beleived in myself before. I know I've had some crazy moments but I can say right now I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

It is still not easy.  Again last night - a thursday night nogal!!!! I had a desire to eat and eat.  I was up till quite late so I got hungry.  This time I wasn't going to let myself drive myself mad, so cut paper thin slices of cheese, 1 gerkin and stuck it on a cracker and consumed it very slowly.  I do not consider this a cheat, as I am supposed to eat every 5 hours.  I've just got to be aware about what I put into my mouth..

So many small things that are usually taken for granted by normal people fascinate me.  My boobs are sticking out more because the fat tyre underneath is getting smaller.  The feel of loose pants around my legs. I can wear a cancer band now, cos it fits and isn't squishing my wrist.  I can fit a bit more comfortably and easier into one of those horrible devil white/green plastic chairs - those garden varieties - hated them for many many years!

More and more people I know are NOTICING I've shed weight.

This is a journey that I'm happy and willing to take.  Each step is in the right direction and takes me closer to my goal.  I'm keen to turn the next page :)

Health is wealth!  It truly is!