I just came to say Hello :)

Hello, hello oh oh oh.  That is the song playing on the radio today.  A happy song, guaranteed to put me in a good mood no matter what.

This morning I was up before the sun, not that that is really early in winter :) The sun rises a little later these days, I rose at 6 am (the earliest I've been up this year) in order to go pick my granny up and take her to the hospital.  She cut a lonely frail figure as she made her way to the entrance of the public hospital.  My heart filled with sudden sadness and tears came to my eyes.  My poor lil gran, trying so hard to make it through a day.  She really does try her best to help him, she stays awake at night and watches over her dying son.  She tries to cook his meals as best as she can. 

Looking at her I was reminded of another reason why I'm on the health mission.  When I get to the ripe old age of 76 I want to be strong.  To do that, I have to look after myself now.  I have to build up that muscle and bone density now.  Yes, I have the weight to lose first, but will be employing the services of a personal trainer to whip me into shape and then to provide an ongoing program that I can follow. 

An update on my uncle:  He is extremely ill, and we know that the treatment is no longer working.  He hardly has any good moments - I can't say days, because he never has a good day.  I know he is proud of me and what I've accomplished so far. It's because of him that I got this major wake up call and I know he won't be here to share in it in the end.  Ah man, it's so bitter sweet.  Sometimes in life though, it takes tragedy for us to wake up.

I'm not a fan of the camera, any fat person will probably admit to that.  There is either too much cheek or tripple chins, or bulges bumps and a dozen other flaws we will pic up instantly.  When you're with thin/slim people in the pick, ya just feel even more fat.  You just never look nice. I'll get in front of it now and again and hit a pose.  Even taking pics for my photographic journal is a mission - I look horrid standing in tights and a vest, that I kinda get discouraged and don't wanna.  I haven't even taken my 3 month pic yet.  I'll take one at 3.5 months. Such unflattering photos but this is the journey I'm taking, so will suck it up and put on the vest and tights.

This is, at times, a journey of being ugly honest with myself - I have got to see the truth and sometimes the truth isn't pretty, what it does though, is make me stronger, fortifies my will.  I will get to my goal, no matter what I have to sacrifice along the way.

A quote from one of my favorite stories:

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

I will keep going.  I will not turn back!  This I promise to myself and to my uncle!  I will NOT give up.