These are the 2 things I want to talk about today. The first being "Judging Others" or in terms of this blog "How I Have Been Judged in the Past".....Fat people are scorned by society, they are pointed at, laughed at and the butt of many a joke - mostly nasty and not the funny haha. Society, well media, potrays fat people as constantly scoffing their faces, messily, greedy and very pig like, they are shown to be highly lazy and many times stupid. It is no wonder then that people will point and snigger or whisper some nasty thing to their companions, and then the group does the obvious STARE....come on. The fatty then embarressed turns and makes like they didn't hear or see what was done. I used to do that, pretend like I didn't hear....and then I had enough. Do I walk around pointing at people and whispering about them or open and obviously make fun at them. I got my "muchness" back one day and decided, no matter how awkward I was going to confront those very people that pointed, sniggerd, laughed or whispered. Fat people are human, fat people have feelings and yet they are made to feel like sub citizens of this world. I have had my fare share of the above and will list a couple of experiences here.
1) I was with another overweight friend of mine at the Hilton enjoying a wine evening, when a middle aged , dare I say gentleman walk passed my table and saw my friend approaching. What my friend didn't see was that he laughed behind her back and made an obvious joke about her at his table. I was LIVID. How dare he do that in public to my friend. I got up, shaking in my boots and approach his entire table. I then proceeded to tell this man that he was being juvenile and was in need over some obvious growth. He had no clue who my friend was, what her life was like or why she was that way. This man was shocked that I, another fatty, had dared to approach his table and confront him so directly. He got up and came to apologise.
2) Lunch with my gran at thr gardens. A group of older people (60+) sat sipping on their wine. I had to pass their table with my grans and my lunch in hand. The one little old lady said rather loudly to her mates "Look at that fat girl" The whole table laughed. I didn't know being fat was funny and I wasn't going to let those old people make fun of me for no reason other than my weight. I went to their table, told them I had heard what she said. Pointed out they were obviously old and prunish and still in some need of growing up and that it's so much more difficult to change who you are on the inside than to change the outside.
3) The most recent incident, a mere week or so ago - while on my diet!!! My mother, Mark, Esther the sausage dog and I went down to the wharf to have a walk around and let the lil sausage have a run. Approaching a group of people, a twenty something woman turned to her mother or aunt, said something and then they both turned around and did the STARE. Okay perhaps I jumped to conclusions, but I've been around long enough to know what it meant. All I did was walk past her, keeping eye contact and did the "I'm watching you" move with my fingers. I think I also mouthed it to her. Then rolled my eyes in dramatic fashion.
So yes I have been laughed at, sniggered about etc. Initially I didn't confront those people. Now, best they beware, I will not be quiet, I will speak up and hold them accountable for their words. I may not care what they think of me in the long run, but I will let them know that they are the ones with the problem.
That was one aspect of Taking Control - and yes my "muchness" has grown.
Second aspect is control of other things in your life. Today I'm about finances. I decided long ago that I wanted to retire in comfort one day and decided over 10 years ago to invest in a couple of policies to that end. What shocked me today, when I received my "10 year anniversary" is how little this investment has grown. Not much more than my actual contributions - sickening!! So what do I do. Do I just carry on adding money into this limp project, or do I take control of those finances, do some homework, give the broker a tongue lashing? I've made an appointment for next week to find out the exact amount of my contributions and the % it's grown. I already know that I will close these two policies - though I cannot withdraw the monies - will invest their lump sum into something (research needed here) and will open something that shows more promise and will be an investment.
I'm finding that since I've been in control of my eating habits for close to 4 weeks, it's infiltrating many other aspects of my life and it's such a wonderful feeling. I feel in control of my destiny somehow.
I would want for each of you to take control of your lives - in every aspect and live this beautiful life to the absolute full!
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