Well I have to admit that I was not 100% on my program after my disappointing news. No I didn't swim in chocolate or eat a whole pizza, I just ate extra foods i have on the plan - more protein and more crackers..... what that meant was that I only had a 0.8kg weight loss - hey it was still down but I don't want to only lose that amount each week.. I have enjoyed bigger weight losses before and would like to achieve that. So currently I've lost 10.8kgs and 21cm.
Ultimately I would like to achieve about a 20kg + loss in about 3 months and then repeat that process.
I have become rather frustrated with this new job, I literally breathe myself into it each and every day. So the job entails phoning people and sending proposals off to see if they want to subscribe to "The Offer". I read in the paper that telesales are like roaches - I feel a little like one - I'm not as bad as those sales people but ja - just don't squish me please.
I've got a couple of things up my sleeve. There is a market every Sunday at Greyville, will take some antique furniture down and see if I can sell it. I'm contacted the guy from an event that is happening to see if I can set up a food stall. I'm wrapping up my meal plan and will be putting in a few ads. The soccer cap and T's. My poetry, which is slowly coming to a close. I've just got to get about DOING it now, tying up lose ends.
I feel very different about my weight loss journey this time around. I haven't put myself under any huge amount of pressure. Yes I want the weight off, quickly, is always a plus, but ja there is no pressure. I'm taking care of my health / taking care of business and I can tell you now my knees are thanking me. Once a week after weigh in, we have a guy from the Sharks or Baby Sharks - I don't know which - train us for half an hour. He really puts us through our paces - or so I think - because I'm that unfit.
I've added some fibre into my diet - fibre tablets that is - it helps with warding off hunger and promoting good digestive health - internal well being is very important.
Oooh and I can weigh on a very intelligent scale now, it breaks down your weight into % of muscle, fat, water, bones, viseral (the fat surrounding or organs) BMI and one or two other things. That was a mini goal - this particular scale wouldn't read initially because I was too heavy for it.....not any more! THANK YOU.
This week is about focus focus focus. Back on track.
Good health to all.
Lou
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Friday, 15 February 2013
Disappointment = emotional eating.
As some of you know I haven't had the smoothest sailing since the beginning of 2012. There were some very rough months, I ate most of the weight I lost back, there were days I didn't think I would make it, there were dark days where I thought and wanted to end my life.
During that time I was fortunate that I at least got some temp work to fill some days and to clear the cobwebs. I had registered with a few recruitment agencies and they are all the same, they treat you like a number, give timed tests in very awkward sitting positions. Eventually though a tele-sales position became available and I got the job. I was to start in December and waited and waited for confirmation, a letter of appointment or even a contract - I never got......until mid December, the company only wanted me to start on the 7th of Jan 2013.
Eventually I start.........needless to say they were not ready for me and I sat around twiddling my thumbs, no one interacted with me. I kinda got going and by that I mean I got a desk with a computer, then it was a waiting game and it was going to be phoning a whole host of people to cold canvas for a product. The people here are complainers, gross (an old man making wanking sounds and then moaning) and plain unfriendly.
Then came news that the company I did temp work for in 2012 were looking for an Ad Support person - I was so stoked because I knew this was my forte', my passion. I had worked for these people, they knew the level of commitment I brought to the table. I contacted the manager and the recruitment agency letting them know I would avail myself and that I would love to be considered. There was some very positive feedback.
Meanwhile my anxiety was growing with the new job, they short paid me on pay day and I had to go investigate what happened. That eventually got sorted.
Today I thought I would do a follow up with the recruitment agency and got such disappointing news. They would not even be sending my CV through because they wanted to fill it with an AA candidate. Crushing! I know I am not my job, but you have to be at least happy some of the time you are there. That's not too much to ask is it
This type of disappointment just blows away all my defences against food. I want to turn to food to eat the hurt away, to fill another void, to numb my pain, to give me a food high.
Some people think " just push through, you're making money " No I'm not making money. I make enough that covers my expenses. I earn less than what I was earning 10 years ago when I started as a junior at Caxton's.
Anyway I guess I just have to suck it up and when I type that the tears fall because I really really just don't know that I can. I hate it.
During that time I was fortunate that I at least got some temp work to fill some days and to clear the cobwebs. I had registered with a few recruitment agencies and they are all the same, they treat you like a number, give timed tests in very awkward sitting positions. Eventually though a tele-sales position became available and I got the job. I was to start in December and waited and waited for confirmation, a letter of appointment or even a contract - I never got......until mid December, the company only wanted me to start on the 7th of Jan 2013.
Eventually I start.........needless to say they were not ready for me and I sat around twiddling my thumbs, no one interacted with me. I kinda got going and by that I mean I got a desk with a computer, then it was a waiting game and it was going to be phoning a whole host of people to cold canvas for a product. The people here are complainers, gross (an old man making wanking sounds and then moaning) and plain unfriendly.
Then came news that the company I did temp work for in 2012 were looking for an Ad Support person - I was so stoked because I knew this was my forte', my passion. I had worked for these people, they knew the level of commitment I brought to the table. I contacted the manager and the recruitment agency letting them know I would avail myself and that I would love to be considered. There was some very positive feedback.
Meanwhile my anxiety was growing with the new job, they short paid me on pay day and I had to go investigate what happened. That eventually got sorted.
Today I thought I would do a follow up with the recruitment agency and got such disappointing news. They would not even be sending my CV through because they wanted to fill it with an AA candidate. Crushing! I know I am not my job, but you have to be at least happy some of the time you are there. That's not too much to ask is it
This type of disappointment just blows away all my defences against food. I want to turn to food to eat the hurt away, to fill another void, to numb my pain, to give me a food high.
Some people think " just push through, you're making money " No I'm not making money. I make enough that covers my expenses. I earn less than what I was earning 10 years ago when I started as a junior at Caxton's.
Anyway I guess I just have to suck it up and when I type that the tears fall because I really really just don't know that I can. I hate it.
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Weighed in....and lost.
Happy to report that I have lost another 1.5kg this brings my total to 9.8kgs. Many may think "wow so quick, it looks so easy" Yes it is relatively quick, but I do have a lot to lose, but let me tell you it's not that easy. Every day is a conscious decision to eat right. Every day I have to fight urges (especially around dinner time) to stick to this plan.
The thing is every day I jot down what I eat and drink, every day, in the morning I write in my food journal that I will be 100% - so the tone is set for the day. I don't want to keep yo yo-ing up and down anymore. I want to lose this weight and be done with it and just maintain a healthy lifestyle.
At the center where I weigh everyone wants to know what I'm doing. I'm eating very healthy is my answer and then the barrage of questions come. I told a woman last night I'm eating myself thinner. I don't take supplements or appetite suppressants ( I do need to get a good slow release vitamin though). Those things do help, but you don't learn about the right foods that way.
Another lady then said she had thyroid problems. Yes a slow thyroid can hinder weight loss if you are not taking medication or eating right, but as a thyroid sufferer myself, I have in the passed used that as an excuse. Oh yes, it becomes the crutch you lean on and trust me, I didn't watch what I ate. Now that I am, I don't even need the medication, because my thyroid actually starts kicking into gear the longer I eat right - yup the whatever levels balance out.
The secret is to eat healthy, to watch portion control, cut the crap and get down to it.
For me it's going to be another week of healthy eating and come Wednesday the 20th I'll be lighter.
Good health to you.
Louise
The thing is every day I jot down what I eat and drink, every day, in the morning I write in my food journal that I will be 100% - so the tone is set for the day. I don't want to keep yo yo-ing up and down anymore. I want to lose this weight and be done with it and just maintain a healthy lifestyle.
At the center where I weigh everyone wants to know what I'm doing. I'm eating very healthy is my answer and then the barrage of questions come. I told a woman last night I'm eating myself thinner. I don't take supplements or appetite suppressants ( I do need to get a good slow release vitamin though). Those things do help, but you don't learn about the right foods that way.
Another lady then said she had thyroid problems. Yes a slow thyroid can hinder weight loss if you are not taking medication or eating right, but as a thyroid sufferer myself, I have in the passed used that as an excuse. Oh yes, it becomes the crutch you lean on and trust me, I didn't watch what I ate. Now that I am, I don't even need the medication, because my thyroid actually starts kicking into gear the longer I eat right - yup the whatever levels balance out.
The secret is to eat healthy, to watch portion control, cut the crap and get down to it.
For me it's going to be another week of healthy eating and come Wednesday the 20th I'll be lighter.
Good health to you.
Louise
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Never Give Up
"After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb". Nelson Mandela. I can only imagine that Nelson was in Kwa-Zulu Natal, on a hot, humid day, in the area of 1000 Hills when he came up with that quote. For that is the view he would have seen. 1000 hills stretching out before him. Each of those hills we climb up in our own personal way. We all walk a journey. Sometimes that journey may be a long straight path, other times it's hilly and requires much effort. After all that effort we are then blessed with a beautiful view and we trek on.
My life has definitely been a one of hills. There has been no easy path for me. In my religious life - that was well, extremely mountainous, but I left that cult behind me and am now free to search and question. In work, there were bumps, then a straight road and then came the 1000 hills, and I'm still busy climbing them as right now I am not where I should be and I know that. Then of course, what this blog is about - my weight. Up and down I have gone over the years. I take responsibility for that up and down and that has gotten me to where I am today, another uphill climb, another striving for that view. It's not an easy journey. When you love food or even dare say addicted to it - it's difficult to given an addiction up in parts. If you are addicted to drugs, you have to totally withdraw, with food you can't, you need to eat something to give fuel, to survive. So to give up an addiction in parts in rather difficult. Each day I have to consciously choose to eat healthy, to stick to the plan, to say no to all the junk.
It does get easier with time, but that 7 headed snake - Temptation - always rears it's head and will continue to do so, I just need to remember that I'm losing weight for my health, for me and there is still that promise I made to my uncle (RIP uncle Brian) So here I am - climbing up. I'm enjoying this journey even though this isn't one of those little hills. I'm only about 9% of the way up. I've got the whole hill stretching way up before me. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other, wipe my brow, breathe deeply and keep moving in the right direction.
With that said, it is weigh day. I have my weekly weigh in a the Durban Health Centre and will update tomorrow where we are at. Currently I have lost 8.3kg and my BMI has dropped 3 points.
Stay strong, stay healthy.
Louise
My life has definitely been a one of hills. There has been no easy path for me. In my religious life - that was well, extremely mountainous, but I left that cult behind me and am now free to search and question. In work, there were bumps, then a straight road and then came the 1000 hills, and I'm still busy climbing them as right now I am not where I should be and I know that. Then of course, what this blog is about - my weight. Up and down I have gone over the years. I take responsibility for that up and down and that has gotten me to where I am today, another uphill climb, another striving for that view. It's not an easy journey. When you love food or even dare say addicted to it - it's difficult to given an addiction up in parts. If you are addicted to drugs, you have to totally withdraw, with food you can't, you need to eat something to give fuel, to survive. So to give up an addiction in parts in rather difficult. Each day I have to consciously choose to eat healthy, to stick to the plan, to say no to all the junk.
It does get easier with time, but that 7 headed snake - Temptation - always rears it's head and will continue to do so, I just need to remember that I'm losing weight for my health, for me and there is still that promise I made to my uncle (RIP uncle Brian) So here I am - climbing up. I'm enjoying this journey even though this isn't one of those little hills. I'm only about 9% of the way up. I've got the whole hill stretching way up before me. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other, wipe my brow, breathe deeply and keep moving in the right direction.
With that said, it is weigh day. I have my weekly weigh in a the Durban Health Centre and will update tomorrow where we are at. Currently I have lost 8.3kg and my BMI has dropped 3 points.
Stay strong, stay healthy.
Louise
Wednesday, 06 February 2013
What a Week!
I have a bout of snotty flu, period pains from hell and a boring job. That being said I was a little concerned about my weigh in, not because I hadn't eaten right but I had taken medication and I was so very bloated. Stood on the scale and lost 1.7 kg this week. Very happy with that weight loss. My total weight for this month is 8.3kgs, which is totally fantastic and totally awesome.
I've been refining my eating plan, it's the one I want to eventually share with everyone, so that anyone who needs to lose weight will have a direction to go in. It can be so confusing with so many products on the market. These products however are usually so expensive. One has to learn to make your peace with food and "medicate" with food.
I'm starting to see a difference, especially in my face.
I look forward to every weigh in because I already know that I will be thinner, because I am committed to sticking to my eating plan.
Eat well, stay well, be healthy.
I've been refining my eating plan, it's the one I want to eventually share with everyone, so that anyone who needs to lose weight will have a direction to go in. It can be so confusing with so many products on the market. These products however are usually so expensive. One has to learn to make your peace with food and "medicate" with food.
I'm starting to see a difference, especially in my face.
I look forward to every weigh in because I already know that I will be thinner, because I am committed to sticking to my eating plan.
Eat well, stay well, be healthy.
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
I'm back on the horse....
Ladies and Gentleman **drumroll please** I am very please to say that I have effectively stuck to my eating plan for the last 24 days.
After pretty much putting on all but 6 kg's - due to the comfort eating and the horrendous 2012, I decided that I had to make a move - a weight loss move. So I did and I committed.
I joined a weight loss challenge (through Herbalife) so that I can get weighed and measured, be accountable and be with people that are battling the bulge like myself. A challenge I would like to win :) My first weigh in was on the 9th of January - that is always the worst day. Since then however I have gotten thinner every week and am very pleased to announce that in 3 weeks I have lost 6.6kgs. And so the journey begins again. My BMI has dropped 3 points as well - which is fabulous.
Statistics say that I have a ZERO % chance of losing weight on my own. This is due to the amount of weight and my BMI. I stick my middle finger up at that and say "BRING IT ON".
So a brief recap of where I am and what is going on:
It's been over a year since my uncle passed away, since then my family, or so it feels has grown apart. I guess his disease brought us all together as we were all focused on him. On the anniversary of his death I had a double whiskey and raised my glass to him. It was my promise to him over a year and half ago that initially got me started on the weight loss and I did good. It still wasn't for me. Now however, it's is something I'm doing for me and me alone. I'm doing it for my knees, for my heart, for my lungs, for my back, for me - Lou.
I did a lot of temp work during 2012 and that kept me going. I was very excited when I got the news in September that I'd be starting work for a small company in December. A smallish salary but it would cover my needs and it was permanent. December came but unfortunately my employment was postponed until the 7th of January. That came along and well I've pretty much being trained for something I wasn't employed for and it's been very quiet. The good side however is that it's given me a routine. This routine has been important in my weight loss.
So where to from here. Onward and downward. It feels great to be back in the saddle. It feels fantastic to have lost nearly 7 kgs. As I go along I'll keep ya'll posted.
Health is wealth.
Here's to a fantastic 2013 for me and for you.
Lou
After pretty much putting on all but 6 kg's - due to the comfort eating and the horrendous 2012, I decided that I had to make a move - a weight loss move. So I did and I committed.
I joined a weight loss challenge (through Herbalife) so that I can get weighed and measured, be accountable and be with people that are battling the bulge like myself. A challenge I would like to win :) My first weigh in was on the 9th of January - that is always the worst day. Since then however I have gotten thinner every week and am very pleased to announce that in 3 weeks I have lost 6.6kgs. And so the journey begins again. My BMI has dropped 3 points as well - which is fabulous.
Statistics say that I have a ZERO % chance of losing weight on my own. This is due to the amount of weight and my BMI. I stick my middle finger up at that and say "BRING IT ON".
So a brief recap of where I am and what is going on:
It's been over a year since my uncle passed away, since then my family, or so it feels has grown apart. I guess his disease brought us all together as we were all focused on him. On the anniversary of his death I had a double whiskey and raised my glass to him. It was my promise to him over a year and half ago that initially got me started on the weight loss and I did good. It still wasn't for me. Now however, it's is something I'm doing for me and me alone. I'm doing it for my knees, for my heart, for my lungs, for my back, for me - Lou.
I did a lot of temp work during 2012 and that kept me going. I was very excited when I got the news in September that I'd be starting work for a small company in December. A smallish salary but it would cover my needs and it was permanent. December came but unfortunately my employment was postponed until the 7th of January. That came along and well I've pretty much being trained for something I wasn't employed for and it's been very quiet. The good side however is that it's given me a routine. This routine has been important in my weight loss.
So where to from here. Onward and downward. It feels great to be back in the saddle. It feels fantastic to have lost nearly 7 kgs. As I go along I'll keep ya'll posted.
Health is wealth.
Here's to a fantastic 2013 for me and for you.
Lou
Friday, 13 July 2012
Day 3.
I've reached day three, just now it will be 7, then 14 then 21 - habit formed :) The goal is to maintain this for at least 6 months. I am happy about this little milestone.
My joy though is robbed by friday the 13th blues. Yup! First up, as you'll know I'm temping, now the agency I go through didn't read my timesheet properly so today I sit with less money paid to me than what I should get. Now it's a whole issue for them to pay it through.....NO ONE BOTHERS TO FOLLOW UP!
Next up, I requested to meet with the sale manager of another local newspaper and asked if I could meet with her and discuss the possibilty of me temping for their staff. She mentioned they have an advertising admin position available, but because I havehave an aunt that works there she would have to check the nepotism laws. This aunt can in no way swing the favor in my direction as she is not in a senior position....that was 10 days ago. I take the innitiative and follow up asking if I could then apply for that position IF it was allowed. The response was that she hadn't checked with the Human Resources yet and that I cannot apply for a position that hasn't been advertised yet........**eyeroll**
These kind of things set me on edge - all I want to do is comfort myself with food. I've just gotten myelf out of a hole and don't want to get back into it. My mental state just keeps getting tested over and over and over again. I just can't let it fall to pieces and have to try my best. Jesus it's hard.
Next option is to apply for a job in Pretoria - an advertising sales position has come up. I don't really want to move to Pretoria, but right now I don't see that I have too much of a choice. May just have to suck it up and go.
At least I celebrate day 3.
My joy though is robbed by friday the 13th blues. Yup! First up, as you'll know I'm temping, now the agency I go through didn't read my timesheet properly so today I sit with less money paid to me than what I should get. Now it's a whole issue for them to pay it through.....NO ONE BOTHERS TO FOLLOW UP!
Next up, I requested to meet with the sale manager of another local newspaper and asked if I could meet with her and discuss the possibilty of me temping for their staff. She mentioned they have an advertising admin position available, but because I havehave an aunt that works there she would have to check the nepotism laws. This aunt can in no way swing the favor in my direction as she is not in a senior position....that was 10 days ago. I take the innitiative and follow up asking if I could then apply for that position IF it was allowed. The response was that she hadn't checked with the Human Resources yet and that I cannot apply for a position that hasn't been advertised yet........**eyeroll**
These kind of things set me on edge - all I want to do is comfort myself with food. I've just gotten myelf out of a hole and don't want to get back into it. My mental state just keeps getting tested over and over and over again. I just can't let it fall to pieces and have to try my best. Jesus it's hard.
Next option is to apply for a job in Pretoria - an advertising sales position has come up. I don't really want to move to Pretoria, but right now I don't see that I have too much of a choice. May just have to suck it up and go.
At least I celebrate day 3.
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