I can feel the tug of my consciousness. It’s been tugging at me for a little while now but I just didn’t have the strength needed to act on it.
My tight jeans that got lose on me are back to being tight and uncomfortable.
Yes I have put on a lot of the weight I lost. I have to accept it and move on. I can’t keep wallowing. Yes I have had an absolutely shit year! God have I ever! I have to accept it and move on. All in all, rather put on weight from depression that taking my life. I can still loose the weight. If I had taken my life, well, you can’t come back from that one.
I’ve been guilting myself over putting on the weight. I’ve been eating myself ‘happy’, and all through it, know that it won’t work. After all the crap I’ve been through, the food was so comforting. It was the only good / enjoyable thing I had to look forward too – and that is the truth. I couldn’t face the day. I was so depressed.
I know I’m not out of the woods just yet. I’m still looking for a permanent job, but thank goodness for old contacts and my work ethic, I have survived these past months. I can say that I am able to see the wood for the trees or visa versa – however that saying goes.
I’m in a place that I feel strong enough to act again. Food doesn’t have to be my crutch any longer. I used that crutch but I’ve got to pull on my inner reserves.
I made a promise over a year ago, to my dying uncle, and though I have back tracked, I am determined as then to fulfill it. *insert swearing* If only I had kept on track.
Where does this leave me…not quite back at square one, but I’ve got to summon up all that I have to get into action. My start date is 11 July. By the 5th of October, a year since my uncles’ death – I hope to be back at where I was before he died.
I know weight loss should be for yourself and your own personal reasons. I agree, to a point that is. I’ve always been goal driven. Meet this deadline, meet that deadline, and reach this or that target. My goal right now is my health. At the end of every blog I always put Health Is Wealth. And it really is. Without your health you can be as rich as an oil sheik and it means absolutely nothing.
I am ready. I can feel it mentally. I can embrace this journey once again. Yes I have plans for that very weekend that involve foodies, but my resolve is such that I will be able to take my own food and stick to the program.
Louise
Hi - glad to hear you're in a better place! Your blog last year was a major motivator for me to find my way again and I am in SO MUCH of a better headspace again! I am still losing and actually feel like my goal is in sight.
ReplyDeleteI know I mentioned it before, but I will mention it again - seriously - if you love food, and you want to lose weight and be healthy - High Protein/Low Carb is the way (weigh) to go - there are fab and fast results to be had and whats more, there is very little of the restrictiveness of Low Fat dieting - for me it's win win! For me, as a food loving, cooking fan, this has been a winner because I can still cook yumminess and the new recipes I have discovered are a great challenge.
Even Prof. Tim Noakes (Discovery Health and Fitness guru) is advocating this WOE for longterm health benefits - You can eat the steak, eggs, butter, cream etc if you cut out the bread, rice, pasta.
If you want more info PM me!
Strength to you! x