Wow! I can't believe! February is around the corner. My new job has been keeping me very busy. There was only one moment of doubt - if I had done the right thing. Was I too quick to resign my old post? Did I know what I had gotten in too? What I had left behind? That lasted one night.
As with everything new, I guess, we do have a little doubt that may creep in. Simply because it is new. Of course I also want to perform, I want to bring in good figures. Not to impress anyone, not to be the star employee, simply to do my job as best I can.
That is what I do every day. I put my best foot forward and go into each phone call, each appointment with a good attitude, positiveness and know that I have that moment to work with. Some people will accept what I have to say about my product, some will not. Some will keep their appointments and some will not. I can only do my best, and you know what, sometimes even that is not good enough for some. I have had some really cool meetings.
The diet is still swinging too and fro. My mother has taken up the call once again and been so good. I have gone out and bought all the groceries so we are going back on track. Never know what tomorrow may bring and I may have to rely on my good looks to help me out :) Nah, still for health baby! Health is still true wealth, for without it - well you just can't do what you used to be able to do.
I'm reading another marvelous book called "Awareness" by Osho. Brilliant book about how asleep eveyone is, even in their wake. All I can encourage people is to be aware of the moment they are in. In really benefits everything. Eg: If you are dieting - be aware as you eat and drink - you will notice more what is going into your mouth. If you are speaking - be aware how and what you say to people - you will notice more what is coming out of your mouth. Open your eyes and really see - you will notice people, you will automatically get a sense of a deep connection not only to people but to nature, the cosmos, god.
I was travelling down the south coast and it was one of those truly beautiful days we get in south africa. The ocean was to the left of me, green rolling hills to the right, the open road in front of me and huge wide open blue sky. That is when I noticed a cabbage patch. Rows and rows of cabbages, just growing and being a cabbage. Quite happy to share their space with other cabbages, not worried about if they were growing right, if their leaves would develope. They were just being cabbages. It made me laugh out loud. I was going to follow that example. I am going to just be me. I'm not talking about, Louise, the woman on diet trying to lose weight, or Louise, the sales rep, trying to bring in figures. Me, as in life. I am life - I don't have a life - I am that life. I will be that life.
I encourage you to feel that life - it's not that you just can breathe and thus are life. Machines can do that for you today as you lie in a hospital bed. Be that life. Feel that life - I mean that literally - close your eyes and feel the life in you, in every cell. You won't be able to contain the smile.
Oh and the car! Running like a dream! At the end of the day it cost just under R10 000. My dad has very very kindly gone halvies with me. Uncle Norman did a fabulous job, as I knew he would. The car is purring better than when she was new.
This weekend is a big tennis weekend in Oz - Vamos Nadal Vamos! I do fancy the spanish player.
Remember to follow your dreams, even if they seem stupid to others, feel your aliveness, be aware to what is happening.
Be happy.
Friday, 27 January 2012
Tuesday, 03 January 2012
Goodbye 2011
What a year 2011 has been. It has been filled with pain, tears, trauma, death, financial loss. It has also been filled with love, kindness, joy, happy tears, enlightenment, weightloss and self knowledge. How I have truly grown and shrunk in so many areas of life.
Christmas was a family affair - and I enjoyed it. I do treasure my family and the time I get with them.
I wave goodbye to 2011 - it is now firmly in the past, there is absolutely nothing I can do that will change it. It is gone, written in stone.
My New Year's Eve was one of the quietest I have experienced in my adult years. I was at home by myself (well at my mum's place), not totally alone, there was Esther the dog and a bottle of 2006 Merlot. I cheered the year off in peace and quiet. All I want for 2012 is less drama, health and peace. It really is that simple.
The car saga is simply - overhauling the entire engine. This will ensure that my car is in tip top shape for the next few years. In the short term a big cash outflow but in long term - it makes good sense to do this now.
I'll be starting my new job in a few days. I cannot say that it will be greener on the other side. Each new place may have it's own problems, but this is what I chose. I didn't want to fight with anyone anymore and it started gettting like that in the previous company. I didn't want to spend another year unhappy in my job. I still love advertising and hope to bring excellent service to my existing client base and to my new potential clients.
So with all the festivities over it is time to get my butt into gear about the weightloss programme once again. I've been on and off these past weeks but am at the point where I want to go gunho (is that right???) again. I do wish I could've gone gunho altogether but realistically I do enjoy my food soooo much - but I also know I did use it as a crutch again - for a bit when I went through "the dark days". Not as much as I usually would have - something to work on.
I encourage everyone who is working on something to keep having a go. Keep trying. Don't throw away the hard work you have put into it.
I have done a lot of soul digging too. A book called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle has been instrumental in understanding the ego and the awareness that pretty much sits and watches - that voice in your head. No no I'm not scitszo - you know of what I speak. We all have that voice - be it gut, intuition, whatever name you want to give it, it's something that knows more than our thinking mind. We tend to be driven by the thinking mind. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that I have or I am learning to separate my ego and emotions from who I truly am. I am not a sales assistant, I am not the fat girl, I am not this or that - that doesn't tell you who I am it merley tells you what I do, what I look like - it doesn't let you in. If I've lost you - do yourself a favor and get the book and read it - I assure you - it will be life changing. If not, that is okay too.
I was clearing out some old books yesturday and came across my uncle's class two or perhaps standard one work book. It must have been 45 years old. There was his hand writing in the innocence of youth, not knowing where his life would lead. I wept a little, not because of his passing, but because I thought of that young boy with all his dreams and ambitions ahead of him.
Follow your dreams. If you have one thing you want to do - what would it be? Why aren't you doing it? I asked myself that question. The answer to it was fear of failing, fear of that dream not being able to sustain me. Instead of throwing that dream away, believing it to never be realised I am working towards it. I am taking steps that will help me realise that dream.
To friends, family - near and far - love your families, love yourself, follow your dreams.
May 2012 be the year where you realise something magnificent, may it astound you and may you smile inside and out.
To 2012 and beyond.
Louise.
Christmas was a family affair - and I enjoyed it. I do treasure my family and the time I get with them.
I wave goodbye to 2011 - it is now firmly in the past, there is absolutely nothing I can do that will change it. It is gone, written in stone.
My New Year's Eve was one of the quietest I have experienced in my adult years. I was at home by myself (well at my mum's place), not totally alone, there was Esther the dog and a bottle of 2006 Merlot. I cheered the year off in peace and quiet. All I want for 2012 is less drama, health and peace. It really is that simple.
The car saga is simply - overhauling the entire engine. This will ensure that my car is in tip top shape for the next few years. In the short term a big cash outflow but in long term - it makes good sense to do this now.
I'll be starting my new job in a few days. I cannot say that it will be greener on the other side. Each new place may have it's own problems, but this is what I chose. I didn't want to fight with anyone anymore and it started gettting like that in the previous company. I didn't want to spend another year unhappy in my job. I still love advertising and hope to bring excellent service to my existing client base and to my new potential clients.
So with all the festivities over it is time to get my butt into gear about the weightloss programme once again. I've been on and off these past weeks but am at the point where I want to go gunho (is that right???) again. I do wish I could've gone gunho altogether but realistically I do enjoy my food soooo much - but I also know I did use it as a crutch again - for a bit when I went through "the dark days". Not as much as I usually would have - something to work on.
I encourage everyone who is working on something to keep having a go. Keep trying. Don't throw away the hard work you have put into it.
I have done a lot of soul digging too. A book called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle has been instrumental in understanding the ego and the awareness that pretty much sits and watches - that voice in your head. No no I'm not scitszo - you know of what I speak. We all have that voice - be it gut, intuition, whatever name you want to give it, it's something that knows more than our thinking mind. We tend to be driven by the thinking mind. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is that I have or I am learning to separate my ego and emotions from who I truly am. I am not a sales assistant, I am not the fat girl, I am not this or that - that doesn't tell you who I am it merley tells you what I do, what I look like - it doesn't let you in. If I've lost you - do yourself a favor and get the book and read it - I assure you - it will be life changing. If not, that is okay too.
I was clearing out some old books yesturday and came across my uncle's class two or perhaps standard one work book. It must have been 45 years old. There was his hand writing in the innocence of youth, not knowing where his life would lead. I wept a little, not because of his passing, but because I thought of that young boy with all his dreams and ambitions ahead of him.
Follow your dreams. If you have one thing you want to do - what would it be? Why aren't you doing it? I asked myself that question. The answer to it was fear of failing, fear of that dream not being able to sustain me. Instead of throwing that dream away, believing it to never be realised I am working towards it. I am taking steps that will help me realise that dream.
To friends, family - near and far - love your families, love yourself, follow your dreams.
May 2012 be the year where you realise something magnificent, may it astound you and may you smile inside and out.
To 2012 and beyond.
Louise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)